i’m afraid that one day i will set my hair on fire so i do the only right thing: i buy a hot pink lighter at the corner store. hot pink like strawberry icing. hot pink like skin after a pinch. hot pink like blush after a kiss. hot pink pussy. hot pink punk pig. hot hOT HOT!

(ouch!)

the flame licks my thumb. my mother laughs when i cough the first time i inhale from a cigarette. i decide: if i’m going to set my hair on fire, it will be from the pretty one in pink.

pink is a hashtag woman / a gender reveal
pink is painted nail polish / a mini skirt / a flicked wrist / smith street
pink is a knee slap / an ass slap / a smeared nose bleed
pink is promising your father you would never / smoke
pink is lighting a tailor-made after a pint
pink is this hand outstretched towards you do you see it do you reach for it do you feel it

i clutch this hot pink lighter. so so tightly. i’m thinking of writing CUNT on it with black marker and bedazzling it with gemstones. hand it to my lovers at a party and lose it on the way home.

(ouch! ouch! crash!)

i’m afraid that one day i will set my hair on fire so i do the only right thing: i set it on fire.

have you ever seen a woman-inferno? my hair fizzles and flickers like a bonfire and i’m overcome by the smell of sulphur. it's a halo, a crown. a mesmerising cow-lick. mother stands outside the door chewing spearmint gum.

a woman is most glamorous when she's on fire. when only her charred body remains, you’ll clutch it to your chest in teddy-bear comfort.

now the hot pink lighter sits on the countertop. the gemstones are falling off and CUNT is smudged so it just reads C U T. the second time i set my hair on fire, i fall to my knees in prayer and kiss the first person to my right. my mother quits smoking the day after.

have you ever seen a woman so desperate? pining for another, pining for a thought. the third time, the lighter splutters and dies while i’m gripping my hair over the sink. empty clothes hanger woman, expectant and stupid (ouch!). my hair stays cold and hungry.